areas of law · BLAWGS · career · law firms · legal · Legal humor · Student

Can having your dreams crushed help you? Why yes, yes it can.

 

I read Above The Law everyday at my paralegal internship. It really helps me get focused on legal issues while simultaneously giving me my worldly gossip fix. Yep, I said it.

I was completely intrigued this morning when I read the title, “Having your Dreams Crushed can Work for You.”  My initial reaction was: “Yes! Please let this be true!”

The paragraph below hit the nail on the head and really communicated to me how I am sometimes my own worst enemy. It all stems from the mind and the things you choose to allow it to believe.

In the quote below, the writer is commenting on the lessons she learned while trying to discover her path in the legal profession.

So here’s the super-long-block-quote:

I now realize that I made two huge mistakes back then.

The first, was not really understanding why I wanted to be a prosecutor. In retrospect, what attracted me most to being a prosecutor was that I would have the opportunity to help and serve people. I had a very narrow view of “service” at this point in my life. If I had been really clear on my “why” (as Simon Sinek would put it), I would have understood my real reason for wanting to do the job. This would have allowed me to be rigid about my goals, helping and serving, but flexible about how to get there, job choice.

The second, was tying my personal self-worth to the outcome of getting a specific job. This concept is so crucial to surviving in the legal profession. The fact is, it wasn’t personal. I was qualified for that job, and I would have been great at it. There were a lot of applications and many factors to consider. The important take away was that their personal needs and opinions were not an actual reflection on my abilities or self-worth.

For the record, my story isn’t unique. One 2011 grad, who is happily employed at a small firm, says:  “You’ll get rejected for most things. I applied to 50 big firms, 300 clerkships. I got rejected from most, I’m still waiting to hear from a few, safe to say I probably didn’t get them.”

SOURCE: Above the Law

Here is what I take away from Kerriann Stout’s story. She mentions two scenarios that I myself am guilty of. If you’ve read this far on the post, you too are probably guilty.

So what are we doing and how can we remedy it?

DREAM KILLER #1: Not Defining and Understanding your WHY.

This is so freakin’ crucial.  As an educator, I pride myself on telling students why they should care about learning English and strive to become better communicators. (If only I would practice what I preach in my own life.  We need a WHY in order to keep us going when things get hard.  Look at life itself. Take a moment and think about why you do vertain things. It’s almost always unconscious. For instance, I like to drink coffee in the morning because it’s comforting and I believe it will bring me energy.  The key word here is believe. I could achieve a feeling of comfort in a number of ways. Coffee is simply ONE WAY. What does this mean?  Once you define the WHY as far as what you want to do, you won’t limit yourself to one particular role at a certain company.  You will be able to meet that need in a more general way, and you’ll take less offense to job declines because you know there are many more ways to skin this hairy cat that is joblessness.

The REMEDY? GET CLEAR on your why.

  • This isn’t always an easy process. It requires a bit of digging into your deep passions. You can ask yourself questions like:
  • What gets me excited?
  • How do I serve people, naturally?
  • What puts a smile on my face? How can I use that to serve other people?
  • What do I really care about?
  • What do I think I could improve upon in our world?
  • What are my strengths? What do people say I do well?
  • How do people say I make them feel?
  • Like the writer above, I’m still working this out as far as my desire to become a paralegal. I know that I love people, I love researching, analyzing situations and people, and I’m really good with helping people feel supported and heard. However, on a deeper level I know that I am drawn to family law specifically because I have a passion for family.  As a product of a broken home I realize the importance of harmony and restoration within domestic situations.  The happier and more understanding families we have in out world, the better off we’ll all be. I’ve helped families in my role as an educator, and now I’ll be able to do it again in my next gig.

DREAM KILLER #2: EQUATING YOUR INNATE VALUE TO JOB SEARCH OUTCOMES

Counseling is great and all, but this sort of thinking will definitely increase your need for it. DO NOT EVER lower your belief in yourself because of external circumstances. WHY? Your belief is literally one of the strongest super powers you have as a human. What do you think will happen if you start to actually believe you are worthless just because you aren’t receiving call backs? If you consider a few facts, which should be easy for legal minds to practice, you’ll soon realize that losses are gains depending on the vantage point you choose. Here are a few things to consider when you’re feeling worthless in the job hunt:

THE REMEDY? Poke holes in the idea that you are scum because a possible employer did not hire you!

  • Maybe there is another job that would be a better fit for me.
  • Maybe I haven’t come across the job that is most compatible with my WHY.
  • Maybe I’m not even clear on my why. I’m just out here tired of bring broke. (If this is the case, I’m sure a Target near you is hiring.)
  • What specific skills are listed in the job description that I can develop?
  • What would someone who believed in themselves do in this situation?
  • How can I increase my credibility and online presence? Remember, we’re living in the 21st Century folks! Get to tweetin’!
  • The hiring team is most likely not conspiring against me, does anyone who is truly successful have time for that? Nah.

So the key here is really simple:

  1. Define your WHY. Also, be okay with this evolving. It may change as you continue to grow and develop your values and skills.
  2. Never EXTERNALIZE your value. Your value is not something that can be taken away from you. HOWEVER, if you let it, your mind can make it seem that way. So get your thoughts in line with what you truly want! You got this.

Let’s Chat:

Do you believe setbacks can be teachers in disguise? Share some of your stories!

-DENIA PARALEGAL

 

Advocacy · areas of law · children · family law · law · legal · Legal Websites · statutes · Student

Family Law: Considering the child’s best interests, and the parent’s interest in the child…

001
Me during my middle school years.

I NEVER in a million years thought I’d be working with middle school-aged children. Thinking back, middle school was by far the HARDEST time of my life as far as understanding my identity.

It’s an interesting time in life because your ego is steadily building while you are simultaneously trying to mesh in with the collective. Some adults haven’t even mastered this yet. I still work on it myself.

So anyway, considering the tumultuous time that is middle school, I want to take a moment and consider the importance of our legal system’s idea of “The Best Interests of the Child,” and how parents play such an integral role in this.

Going into my third and last year as a middle school teacher while also attending a paralegal program at Arapahoe Community College, I think I finally realized one of the reasons why I needed to be a teacher for a time.  Teaching has taught me the innate value of children. Many of us view them as too much work, too ignorant and unknowing, and even useless. However the truth of the matter is that children are seeds of pure potentiality.  The only question becomes, what are we watering them with?

So, back to the law. In Colorado we stand firm behind the idea of the “Best Interest of the Child.” But, what does this mean exactly? Let’s explore.

Obviously, the best interest of the child conversation comes up in the midst of a domestic relations case involving parental responsibilities(custody).  No matter the specifics of the case, it is apparent that the child is in a lesser position, and thus representation would be doing due diligence to advocate for the child’s needs.

The legalese states:

“The legal representative of the child, appointed pursuant to subsection (1) of this section, shall represent the best interests of the minor or dependent child, as described in section 14-10-124, with respect to the child’s custody, the allocation of parental responsibilities, support for the child, the child’s property, parenting time, or any other issue related to the child that is identified by the legal representative of the child or the appointing court.”

Source: WomensLaw.org

I want to explore in my experience how the bolded categories can plant DIRECT seeds into a child’s life, as well as what parents can do to influence positive growth for the child. 

CUSTODY(Parental Responsibilities)- What are you teaching your child to believe about himself?

Since the word custody has many meanings and interpretations, I really like that Parental Responsibilities is the term for this now.  Anyway, while from the perspective of the parent, the term “parental responsibilities” may seem rigid and duty-like, from the child’s perspective it is something else entirely. The child is receptive in this relationship. She is simply developing an understanding of responsibility through the parent’s actions.

I’ve noticed throughout the years that once I meet a child’s parent and read the energy between parent and child, I understand the child SO MUCH MORE.  For example, kids who seem to not know who they are and tend to follow the herd and act out in school usually have parents who are constantly telling them how to be. (Don’t do this, look your teacher in the eye..) The kid in unable to develop faith in himself.

On the more severe end of the spectrum, parents who abuse their children physically foster the same sort of thing. IE: (school fights and the use of violence to solve problems.) In this instance, the child still doesn’t have faith in himself, he has faith in fighting.

 WHAT CAN PARENTS DO: Parents can aid in their children’s success stepping up to the plate, leading by example, being present, and showing the child the problem-solving and general life skills. If the parent is underdeveloped here, the parent can reach out and get help.

ALLOCATION OF PARENTAL RESPONSIBILITIES

This one is tricky.  Obviously, since this is a domestic case, we can make the inference that the child most definitely knows that she has two parents.  In a perfect world, the parents balance one another out when they are in a relationship. However, what happens to this balance when the couple is deciding to split?

Well, we know this can greatly distort a child’s perception of wholeness.  Because our parents represent stability for us in our younger years, the destruction of a sense of balance here throws us off.

Because the child senses the stability and balanced structure of his life is being challenged, the seed planted could be: “My life is out of control.  It’s my fault.  I’m split in half. I’m no longer a whole person.”

WHAT CAN PARENTS DO:  Parents can be honest with themselves and their children about their shortcomings, and remind the child that the circumstances ARE NOT because of her.

SUPPORT

We know children cost money.  We also know that children deserve to know that they are worth something. As a product of a single-parent mother, I’m well aware that sometimes this means strain on the adult involved. However, we must remember that we are constantly sending MESSAGES sent to the child that will be imbedded into their self-talk and understanding of themselves.  Are you showing the child support? There are small and big ways to do this, and honestly, some of the smaller gestures mean more in the long run.

WHAT CAN PARENTS DO:  

Support can be as simple or as grand as:

  • Making Phone calls
  • Attending school/extracurricular events
  • Trips to the park
  • Birthday Gifts
  • Listening(This one is highly underrated)

So all in all, I believe that parents have an awesome opportunity. (Notice I didn’t say easy or simple). However, small decisions can make major changes with the way your child views herself in the long run. Plant the seeds!

 

areas of law · Awesome Lawyers · BLAWGS · career · family law · law · Legal humor · Legal Websites · paralegal · Student

Legal, Celebrity, and Gossip, Oh My!

fun-42593_1280

I have a dream that one day I’ll write a really fun textbook.

I don’t know where we got the idea that learning new things has to be drudgery by default.

As a paralegal student I’ve been buried under personality-less textbooks as of late. One night I got this weird idea. I decided to merge my childhood obsession with celebrity and fashion with my desire to become more informed about the legal field.

So…I did a quick search and came across Jill Stanley’s blog: Proof.

O.M.G. what a Godsend! I like to read the court docs to challenge myself. It took me like 3 days to get through Mayweather’s case because it’s so damn long, but boy is it fun to read about the inner workings of celebrities and the law. I mean, if that’s your thing.

Other fun-to-read legal blogs:

**Above the Law

**The Fashion Law

**Lowering The Bar

 

 

Advocacy · areas of law · Awesome Lawyers · career · family law · law

The Admirable Teresa “Terri” L. Brake never put a Brake on Advocacy

july15brake_drdeathc

I can be a bit dark at times so naturally I find myself asking the question:

What do I want to be remembered for when I die?

Well, in lieu of soaking in my dark thoughts, I chose to read about some of Colorado’s most notable lawyers. Great alternative, eh?  I must admit that reading about this notable woman I’m about to inform you of was none short of a beautiful experience.

As I was reading an old copy of The Colorado Lawyer  from July 2015, I ran across a very inspirational woman by the name of Teresa L. Brake, and reading about her life and work as a death penalty defense attorney definitely gave me some ideas as far as things I would like to be remembered for.

I put my own two cents in my favorite color, pink. (Yeah, I’m typical. #GetOverIt.)

So who was Teresa L. Brake?

Teresa was one of the first women death penalty defense lawyers in the nation and guess what? NONE of her clients were put to death.

THE WAYS OF BRAKE

I believe a lot of Brake’s success can be attributed to her beliefs and ways of being. Below I will highlight some of my favorites mentioned in The Colorado Lawyer article.

Here’s what a colleague, Mike Hener, had to say about her:

“Her insanely good spirits always irritated me, but she made up for it by being devious and smart…”

Per the article, Brake believed in redemption and she always sought to find the good in everyone.

Personally, I think we could always use a bit more of this paradigm in our modern world where finger-pointing and the blame-game seem to be the more common options.

BRAKE IN PRACTICE

So we know what she believed, but how did she show it?

Buy any dress necessary-After the Colorado Department of Corrections refused a visit due to her clothing, Brake did not waste time. She proceeded to go to a store and buy a suitable dress so that she could visit her client on death row. Now that’s what I call determination and true advocacy.

Shows clients true compassion– The word “true” might appear an unnecessary adjective here, but I promise it isn’t. Compassion is easy to fake. I know because I’ve done it.

However, upon her death at the tender age of 50, many of her clients wrote letters about her immense compassion and willingness to spend hours meeting the needs of her clients. She truly believed in the Supreme Court’s words, “All Men Are Created Equal Under the Law.”

Brake’s story is an inspiration to me and definitely makes me want to keep pursuing advocacy and justice in our world. Some of her qualities that I would like to continue cultivating include:

  • Solution-orientedness
  • Showing compassion consistently
  • Seeking out the good in people, and trusting that it’s there!

What do you find most inspiring about Terri Brake?

Let’s talk in the comments!

-Denia

career · family law · law · law firms · Legal assistant · paralegal

The Legal Client-Intake Interview: What vibe are you creating?

She laughed. Her eyes were glowing.  And although I could sense the pain beneath the surface, I could feel her hope and it fueled me. It reminded me of my job as a legal assistant.

I’m talking about one of the clients I got the privilege to meet last week on my first day as a legal intern.  I definitely did not know how the client-intake interview would unfold, but if I could do it again, there are somethings I would focus on.

This post will highlight a few of these things.

First of all, as a person working in a service industry (yes, the law is service), you should be able to explain how you want the client to feel. 

Law is largely about advocacy. So typically, legal clients are in need of support.

Often your client will walk in feeling the way the young woman below looks:

deniaparalegalargument

 

…and  you know the end game may be that you come up with something that looks like this:

contract

Yes. The paper trail. The pleadings, motions, and countless other documents that you have to deal with create enthusiastically as a legal advocate. However–is this all your client needs right now? Really?

Do you think the girl in the picture above really wants a sheet of stack of papers you’ve cooked up? Is this really all she needs when she walks through your door?

Sure, on some level. Namely the surface one.

But on a deeper level, she needs your understanding and compassion right now. Screw your documents.

So how does this come back to creating a vibe? Simple. Instead of immediately focusing on extracting information from your client, focus on meeting their immediate needs through your environment first.

When it comes to determining the vibe you want to create for your client, you must see your client as yourself, as human. In this way, you seek out ways to give the client what he needs on a deeper level. This makes all of the legal talk a lot easier later.

Here are a few of the adjectives I came up with as far as what I believe a client may need to feel on any given day: 

Comfortable and Safe

Understood

Special

Important

Connected

Supported

Heard

Let’s say you agree with me on the above list. If these terms describe how we want the client to feel…how can we tangibly create this through the environment? The great thing about this is that there are no finite solutions. You know your clients, so you can modify this list to suit them.

Here are a few ideas:

  1. Provide beverages/snacks and offer them right at the start of the interview.-I don’t know about you, but I absolutely love being offered food and drinks. Even if I don’t want it, feels great to know it’s there. Nails salons across America get this. 😉
  2. Nod from time to time. Validate. Clients need this.– I don’t know many people who feel heard when the person he is confiding in has a blank expression.  There is no need to be overtly emotional, but let’s try to be more human and less robot.
  3. Express condolences when appropriate.- Empathize with the situation the client is in.  This helps to establish trust and your client will feel safe with you.  Safety is needed for your client to share her story.
  4. Maintain neutral expression.– I know this seems contradictory to the aforementioned piece of advice, but you need to balance your reactions.  What I mean by this is too much expression of consolation will make you(and inevitably, the client) feel more apt to dive into the client’s problem instead of being more focused on the solutions.
  5. Use the client’s name. EVERYONE loves to hear their name, especially when it is pronounced correctly.  Shoot, I even like just seeing my name on a Starbucks cup. My name is Denia. (Sidenote: My first orthodontist wrote my name as “Duh-Knee-Ah” on my folder to help him remember how to say it. This was brilliant. Thanks to this, he was also my last orthodontist.)  Believe it or not I am highly experienced in the arena of people mucking up my name. But guess what? I still like the fact that the person tried to say it.  Experiment with saying your client’s name more often and see if you notice a difference.
  6. Have toys available in case children are in attendance. This may vary depending on your clientele, so you can analyze and see if this would be worth it.  In family law cases, there will more than likely be instances in which small children will be in attendance.  Anticipate their presence and help them feel welcome with stuffed animals and toys.
  7. Place a box of tissue on the table in case the client is sick, or if things get heavy. Contrary to our patriarchal society’s beliefs, crying is healthy. Readily available tissue may assist your client in being comfortable letting her more charged emotions fly out when they need to. More than likely he will have to recount situations that don’t bring out the brightest of emotions, and it is your job to support the client in getting this information out of their mind and into your client intake data sheet.

So there you have it. A lowly intern’s take on ways to inspire a vibe your client needs during the intake process. How do you help clients feel welcomed? Leave a comment below!

-Denia

 

areas of law · Astrology · career · law · paralegal

Law and the Zodiac: What’s your ‘Paralegal’ Sign?

LegalAstrology1.jpegIn my journey towards a paralegal career, I’ve really been enjoying reading up on the different areas of law.

To that end, I’m also a bit of a self-help and astrology junkie. So naturally, I felt compelled to create a list of what areas of law might interest the different signs according to the Zodiac!

Disclaimer: This list is MERELY for kicks and giggles. Please don't take it too seriously. 

 

The Aries Paralegal- Personal Injury

Aries is fast and initiating.  If you just destroyed your car in an accident, get an Aries paralegal on it ASAP. He’s used to accidents. 

The Taurus Paralegal- Real Estate Law

Taurus knows about all things earthly. Naturally, she’d know how to recognize a sweet piece property and compose an even sweeter agreement for it.

The Gemini Paralegal- Intellectual Property

Gemini is communicative and loves change.  What’s changing faster than technology and the rapid pace at which we’re churning out e-books and such ideas today?

The Cancer Paralegal- Family Law

Cancers are all about the feels and family.  He would want to be sure that all is in fact fair in love, war, and familial disputes.

The Leo Paralegal-Entertainment Law

This sign is fixed fire, which means Leo is consistently passionate. She will be ready for the celebrity drama.  

The Virgo Paralegal-Administrative Law

This sign is earthy and changeable. which means Virgo is adaptable yet stable.  This is an awesome combo for adapting to the legal evolution. 

The Libra Paralegal-Contract Law

 Libra is a communicative, diplomatic initiator.  He would compose equitable contracts. 

The Scorpio Paralegal-Criminal Law

Scorpios love digging into the proverbial muck of existence. Scorpio isn’t afraid of the darkness. He will dive into the dark and come out on top. 

The Sagittarius Paralegal-International Law

Sagittarius is passionate and loves travel and change. She will enjoy engaging with international affairs. 

The Capricorn Paralegal-Business Law

Capricorn has common-sense and loves to initiate.  She has what it takes to get down to business. 

Side note: I am a Capricorn rising, which means the first impression I give off the vibe of all work and no play. This person is 90 percent business, and 10 percent pleasure. Generally.

The Aquarius Paralegal-Intellectual Property Law

Aquarius is consistently communicative. She knows how to help folks get those personal ideas floating. 

The Pisces Paralegal- Health and Safety Law

Pisces can be empathetic, caring, and adaptable. One can count on Pisces to ensure equity in safety and health. 

areas of law · career · law · Legal assistant · Legal humor · paralegal

If Beyoncé were a legal assistant…

Whenever life gets too mundane…you make stuff up. Right? No? 

Well, it’s what I do. 

Here is my latest probing: 

What if Beyoncé was a legal assistant? What are some things that would definitely be true if this happened? 

Below you’ll see what I came up with. Fasten your seatbelt. 


Her…

  • Typing speed would be on fleek due to long practice hours and her typing coach. (1000 WPM minimum, easily)
  •  Desk mini-fan would come in handy in case the firm wins a case and wants to celebrate with a little wind-in-hair.
  • Opposing counsel would consistently be forced to bow down.
  • Firm would love her enough to allow her to rock cheetah print on casual Friday.
  • Blonde hair would become a trend or a taboo in the legal industry. Not sure which. 
  • Daughter’s name would be Blue Book Carter.

I guess I better get to work on my typing speed! 

xo,

Denia 

areas of law · career · law · paralegal

The Paralegal: The Big Help.

DeniaParalegalHelp.jpg

We all know the value of good help. In both business and personal, quality assistance can go a long way.

By definition, a paralegal is a paraprofessional who helps attorneys with their legal work.  Attorneys need serious help!  Those who practice the law don’t have time to deal with folks who don’t want to get their hands dirty(literally or figuratively).

This post will highlight three main qualities of great assistants.  It’s as easy as A-B-C!

A. In the Know

A great assistant is educated. In order to assist, you must first understand. Although it is not necessary for a paralegal to undergo formal education in order to work for an attorney, it is imperative that she understands what it really takes to run a law firm, how to create documents for the courts in a timely fashion, how to support clients, and how to organize all of these things in a way that makes sense. Without the background knowledge, the assistant can not be of benefit.

B. Self-Starters

Great helpers don’t wait to be asked. A helper helps because it is essentially who she is.  This translates beautifully into the workplace because the work environment is about unity.  Everyone who shows up to work should have the same goal: fulfill the needs of the client.  If we know this is the goal, then what the hell heck are you waiting for? Hop to it!

 

C. Innovators

Great assistants must also be willing to innovate from time to time.  Innovation has to do with coming up with new and interesting ideas.  In an industry as rigid as the law, innovation is invaluable.  An innovator could be that person who comes in with a great idea about how to market to potential clients, or who develops a  new way to conduct client interviews.  As fast as technology and our world is moving today, it is becoming more imperative to have innovative thinkers around in order to reach success.

So the next time you go out in the world to be of assistance as a paralegal or otherwise, make sure you know what you’re doing, no one is begging you for your help, and that you’re not afraid to get a little creative!